About the author...

Leil Lowndes is a New York based communications consultant who has coached top marketing executives of Fortune 500 companies, and is currently conducting sales seminars for corporations and organizations. She is the author of numerous magazine articles in publications such as Psychology Today, New Woman, Redbook, Cosmopolitan – and three books including the best selling, How To Talk To Anybody About Anything. Top sales pros such as Harvey Mackay, Og Mandino and Jerry Della Femina have endorsed Ms. Lowndes'latest book.

Customers say they buy with their heads, but they have a decision making organ in their bodies far more powerful than their brain. It's the one Cupid takes aim at to make people fall in love. It's the one that starts beating before we're born and continues until the moment we die. And it's the one retailers must aim at to make people buy.

When a customer signs on the bottom line – or walks away from you – he thinks he's made a rational and intellectual decision. What even he doesn't realize is that he already said "yes" or "no" with his heart long before the decision reached his brain and his lips.

How a customer feels about your merchandise and, equally important, how a customer feels about you is crucial to the sale. Study after study has shown this and yet, even today, many retailers still focus their sales pitch solely on their merchandise.

Naturally your customer must find the features of your merchandise or service attractive. But that's just for starters. Your product is good but, chances are, so is the competition's. The crucial difference is beating in your customer's chest.

How do you get accurate aim at the heart? Back in 1936, Dale Carnegie – the How to Win Friends and Influence People guru – summed it up. He said, "Smile, be a good listener, and make other people feel important." No less true today than it was almost 60 years ago. The difference is, Dale Carnegie told us what to do, but not how to do it.

Don't blame Dale. Many of the techniques for subliminal rapport didn't exist in his time. Nowadays, methods from the worlds of psychology, kinesics, sports, psychiatry,

and even theater have worked their way into mainstream acceptance. And yet, except for affirmations, the business world draws relatively little from these disciplines.

Technique One:

Think of Your Customer as an Old Friend.

Communications studies show that 80% of a customer's first impression of you has nothing to do with your words. A full 50% is your appearance and body language. Another 30% is the sound of your voice and your energy level. And only 20% of their first reaction to you results from the actual words out of your mouth.

Here is a technique that will automatically transform your body language and boost your energy level. When you first spot your customer, imagine that he or she is a long-lost old friend. You genuinely like this friend and you are so happy to see him or her again after all these years. Then, say your "hello's" as usual. Shake their hand or do whatever you normally do when greeting a customer. But, inside, let all that warmth you would feel recognizing an old friend well up in your heart.

You will be pleasantly surprised at your own body language. Your smile will be warmer, your handshake more sincere. You will automatically face your customer, you'll lean forward, and you will maintain good eye contact. Your prospect will see you as a genuinely friendly and likeable person.

Technique Two:

Make a "Mood Match" With Your Customer

Has someone ever called you on the phone when you're very busy and started narrating an endless tale, without asking you if you're in the mood to talk? How about when you're sleeping? Insensitive salespeople invade customers like this all the time, on the phone and in person. A salesperson can aggravate a harried customer by starting a long slow sales pitch. Conversely, a relaxed customer might find a salesperson very abrupt if they rush into a discussion of their merchandise without first making soothing small talk.

Whenever you face a customer, look at his face and body and take note of what's "running" him at the moment. Does he seem peaceful, receptive? Or is he in a hurry? Does he appear to be in good spirits, or is he preoccupied with something? Whatever his mood is, match it. As an example, how would you quiet a crying baby down? Every mother knows the answer. You pick him up and make little crying sounds yourself while patting the baby on the back. Then you gradually subside your crying sounds and, eventually, the baby follows. Your customers are all big babies! Match their mood for minute or two and you'll be much more effective in bringing them around to your way of thinking.

Technique Three:

"COM-YOU-NICATE" With Your Customer

Remember the old gag, "SEX! Now that I have your attention..."The word, "YOU" achieves the same attention getting purpose. The moment your customer hears the word, "you," he or she is immediately engaged.

Try to start as many sentences as you can with that powerful little three letter word. It gets and keeps your customer's attention. Additionally, it gives her the impression that you are 100% customer-focused.

Consider the following sentences and how much more powerful they become when you make them YOU statements.

WEAK: That's a good question.

STRONG: You've asked a good question.

WEAK: It's important that...

STRONG: You'll see the importance of...

WEAK: The result will be...

STRONG: You'll see the result when you...

Sprinkle the word "you" as liberally as salt and pepper throughout the conversation. Your customer will find it an irresistible spice.

Technique Four:

"Echo" Your Customer's Words

Every business has jargon and buzzwords that distinguish knowledgeable insiders in the industry from uninformed outsiders. And every one of your customers has his or her own language that distinguishes family, friends and co-workers from strangers. The words may all be English, but subtleties in choices vary from industry to industry, and even family to family. Imagine for a moment you are giving your sales pitch to a young mother. Perhaps she refers to her "child," her "kid," her "infant," her "toddler," or her "newborn." When you are talking with her, use whatever word she uses. Use HER words to establish subliminal rapport.

You're giving your sales pitch to an executive? He speaks about his "job," his "profession," his "assignment," his "commission." Use HIS word for his work to establish subliminal rapport. You will appear more credible, trustworthy and likeable. When you echo their arbitrary choice of words, customers feel you're "family."

Technique Five:

"Caption" Your Customer's Life

Did a prospect just tell you he was going on vacation to St. Thomas? Did a customer just tell you she got promoted at her company? Did a client just tell you he's a new grandfather – and the baby's name is Sammy?

Write it down! After every conversation with a prospect or customer, make a note of any stories they told you. Write them on the back of their business card or in your customer file.

Then, whenever you see that customer again, check your file. Before you say word one about your merchandise or service, ask "Hey, tell me about St. Thomas?" "How's the new job?" "Hey, how's Sammy doing - taking after his grandaddy yet?"

What makes captioning so powerful is this. We remember facts about people we love, our family and friends. But we don't usually remember these things about strangers or even our customers. Recalling a customer's personal history gives the subliminal impression that you are not just a salesperson, but a friend.

Technique Six:

Ask Your Customer "Long-Form Questions"

Just like there are short-form and long-form tax returns, there are questions requiring short answers, and questions requiring longer answers. Very early in the conversation, ask your customer a long-form or open ended question.

SHORT-FORM QUESTION: "Did you enjoy St. Thomas?"

LONG-FORM QUESTION: "Hey, if you've got a minute, I'd love to hear about your trip to St. Thomas."

Why take time to listen to a customer's long-winded answer rather than his short puff?

Four solid reasons:

1. Your question sends out subliminal "caring" messages. Asking a long-form question makes your customer feel you're interested in him.
2. Listening to your customer, especially on subjects not related to your merchandise or service, gives you valuable insight into them. You have time to judge their body language, determine their values in life, and figure what emotional approaches will work best with them.
3. You involve the customer and get their mind off the fact that you'll soon be separating them from their money.
4. It increases your customer's interest in what you have to say. Everyone likes to be the center of attention. But, after hogging the spotlight, a little guilt starts to set in. They're now ready to hear somebody else talk. That's you, making the sale.

Technique Seven:

"Mega-Listen" to What Your Customer is Saying

A full 85% of your knowledge is fed to your memory through your eyes. Only 7% comes through your ears. The rest reaches your brain through the other senses. If you intend to convince your prospect that your merchandise is right, you must remember every aspect of her problem. So, while she's talking, picture in your mind everything she is telling you. Imagine a little TV screen in front of your eyes, and "watch" what she is describing. When you "see" her problem, you will be less apt to give your standard pitch. You will clearly "see" how your merchandise or service is the solution to her specific problem.

In addition, mega-listening makes you a more empathetic listener. By picturing everything she is saying, your body responds more energetically to your customer's story. This creates a bond with her.

Technique Eight:

Listen to Your Customer's Body

Even when your customer's mouth is closed, he's shouting important messages to you. As you are talking, watch your customer's body and tailor your pitch accordingly. When he's nodding, when he's smiling, or when he's turning full body toward you, highlight the aspects of your merchandise or service that he's hearing.

Is he's turning his body away, looking over your shoulder, getting a blank stare on his face? Now he's not interested. Quick, switch to another feature.

Expert salespeople are masters at watching their prospect's eyes. When an individual hears something he likes, his pupils unconsciously become larger. And his pupils close down when he's not pleased.

When you become an expert at eye-watching, you will know when to further pursue a point and when to keep quiet by your customer's subconscious eye movements. Continue talking about the features of your merchandise that the customer's body responds to - and move on to the next one when their body reveals they're not interested.

Technique Nine:

Invoke Your Customer's Interest

Words have different power and punch to different people. Have you ever noticed how men use more sports analogies when talking business than women? It's because, in general, men watch more sports.

If you know your customer's interests, you can take this one step farther. Try to use words that invoke their interests. Here's an example. Everyone knows what the speaker means when he says, "This solution is right on target." But that phrase has more punch to an archery enthusiast than to the rest of us.

If your customer is a baseball fan, you make a bigger impact when you say, "We'll never strike out with this solution." To a recreational shooter, try, "This solution is bulls-eye."

More examples:

Does your customer have a garden? Talk about "sowing the seeds for success." Is he a private pilot? Talk about a concept "really taking off." For a boat owner, you'd change that to an concept that "will stay afloat."

Get the idea? For persuasive conversing, invoke your customer's interests every way you can.

Technique Ten:

"Mirror" Your Customer's Senses

This one is a subtle but extremely powerful technique. Everyone responds to sound, sight and feelings in our world. But usually people relate to one of these senses more than others.

When your customer is talking, notice whether she uses more visual references or sound references? Perhaps she speaks in terms of feeling.

For example, your prospect is telling you about a show she saw. Does she talk about how beautiful the costumes looked? How great the music sounded? Or perhaps how the moving story made her feel?

Another customer is talking about a recent skiing trip. Does he tell you the snow was "blindingly white?" (sight) Maybe he tells you about how the mountain slopes were "so quiet?"(sense of sound) Or is he talking about how "brisk and cold" the day was? (feeling)

Your customers don't know this, but they are handing you a key to relating to them on a subconscious level. They've revealed which sense they respond to most - seeing, hearing or feeling.

For deeper rapport, describe your experiences in terms of your customer's most powerful faculty. And, if you can, talk about your merchandise using that same sense.

Technique Eleven:

Check Out The Last Sale

Has the customer bought any other merchandise or service from you? Inquire about how the previous product is doing before saying one word about what you now want to sell them. Your inquiry sends out a powerful message that, if anything is wrong after they've made their purchase, you're the person they can come back to. They get the subliminal message that they can depend on you for sale follow-up. And that makes them want to buy from you the next time.

Technique Twelve:

Co-Sign Their Complaints

Your customer is complaining about a situation that maybe, just maybe, your merchandise could help. Be grateful. Be glad. Be silent. See their problem in your imagination. Mega-listen. Let your body sympathize. Then, when they seem to be out of steam, wind them up again and let them complain a little more. Resist the temptation to jump in with your sales pitch.

Technique Thirteen:

Sell Solutions

Who said you can't buy happiness? That's what every sale is. People do not buy products. They buy pleasure. They do not buy services. They buy solutions. In short, people buy happiness.

That happiness may come in the form of avoiding pain, solving a problem, making their life easier, or giving them peace of mind, pleasure, or prestige. But every sale boils down to buying happiness.

If you have asked your customer long form questions and really listened to his voice and his body, you should now have a clear idea of your customer's problems and how he defines happiness.

Don't simply describe your merchandise or service. Paint a word picture of the happiness it will give him. Talk about how it will benefit his life. Depict the problems it will solve, the peace of mind or prestige it will give him, or how it will make his existence easier.

Furthermore, describe the situation using words from your customer's world (echoing). Aim at your customer's heart through the physical senses they most respond to (mirroring). And sprinkle that magic word, "you," liberally throughout your conversation (comm-YOU-nicate).

Technique Fourteen:

Sow Seeds For The Next Sale

OK, the sale is closed. Congratulations. Not so fast - your work isn't over yet. Most salespeople smile, mentally pack up their briefcase, and think of that as the end.

But it's just the beginning. In almost every industry, the profit margin on repeat sales is significantly higher than first sales. So now is the time to plant the seeds for the next sale.

Is your next potential sale worth two minutes of your time on the phone? Invite the customer to give you a call in a few weeks to tell you how he's getting along with his new purchase.

In your customer's eyes, that makes you a consultant, not a vendor. You become a friend, not a salesperson. And even if your merchandise isn't quite as good as the competition's, your customer's heart will convince his head that it is. And his heart will direct his head to buy from you, again and again.